#my time at portia reacts

[grace-williams-xo]

I HAVE FINISHED THE FIRST FOUR THIS IS GONNA BE MY MESSY THOUGHTS POST. SPOILERS AHEAD. [Part two rambles, addressing some of these.]

I want Cressida to be happy and I want her and Debling to work things out sue me I do

More than that I ship Cressida and Eloise,,,, frothing for them to kiss actually

Benedict my happy smiling boy with no thoughts behind the eyes I love you

I still want Sophie to appear late in the season

Anthony is so in love and obsessed with Kate it is grotesque like that man has not had a thought about anything other than his wife since he married her

Despite being the world’s biggest Kanthony lover,,,, I have to admit that their absence works better than I expected

Francesca and Eloise’s little friendship moment in ep 1 was so sweet [EDIT: I meant Francesca and Penelope smh my brain]

Francesca has my entire heart I want her to continue to thrive happy in part two

It’s not that I don’t like the Mondrich’s or their plot… it just feels very disconnected. Hopefully this improves

SO happy about Pen and Delacroix’s continuing friendship I always want more of that I love them

Anthony is gonna kill Colin when he gets back, Kate saying no is gonna be the only reason he doesn’t (I can’t fully explain it, I just feel like Anthony is gonna be mad)

Despite what I said in point 6, we do need kanthony in every episode of part two

Kinda loving Portia Featherington this season, sending her thoughts and prayers every time Prudence and Phillipa breathe, but also scared how she’s gonna react to Pen marrying Colin

When Colin finds out about LW,,,,,,

I like how late the introduction of Marcus was, and how slow burn that is

The first threesome scene wasn’t that bad imo and the second one, where he’s not involved, is so blink and you miss it and he’s clearly not into it anyway so also not that bad

This is going to be the longest 27 days of my life

P.S. I don’t know what to say about Polin. I was screaming at Colin for 90% of it. The carriage scene, the proposal; chef’s kiss.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Drabbles of MC reflecting M6's love language or doing things for their beloved that their beloved does for them?

So like, carving wood figures for Muriel and getting him new tools when his wear down too much, getting Nadia thoughtful gifts that she would appreciate, spending time with Portia and Asra, and I think Julian and Lucio would love big dramatic displays of love

The Arcana HCs: Reflecting M6's love languages

Julian

Oh. Oh my. Be still, his rapidly beating heart (he really needs to cut back on the caffeine, but at least half of this is genuinely because of you) You're giving him affection?? In the best possible way???

You're fussing over his physical wellbeing when he's had a long day and helping him wind down?

You're playing music for him or telling him a story from your past?

By far your best stunt was when you decided to visit his clinic while it was closing to surprise him with a picnic dinner date

The front door was locked when you got there, so you decided to go through the back instead with the spare key he put in your bag a while back and completely forgot about ...

On your way through the back room, you spotted some of the spare uniforms and decided to throw on one of the coats and masks (as one does) to better surprise him

The surprised fumble, dramatic "en guarde!", and theatrical flourish with his own doctor's coat that you got when you surprised him was so typical of your first meeting that you fell apart laughing

The picnic on the docks afterwards where you reminisced on your (very successful) relationship so far was delightful

Asra

Oh, they're not used to this, and it's making them feel safe and loved and grounded in ways they don't know how to handle

You're offering constant reassuring physical touch, but leaving it up to him to accept it/only going ahead if he says yes first?

You're going out of your way to make safe, comfy spaces for them to take quick catnaps and breaks from the world and bringing them tea when they're deep in thought?

You're constantly bringing home things that reminded you of him and finding new niche experiences to treat him to?

They are turning into a puddle. They are melting through the floor. If this keeps up there will be water in their eyes and there is never water in their eyes -

It's not that he's incapable of accepting love, it's that he's become accustomed to carrying so incredibly much of it for you and expecting nothing in return, finding his reward in your happiness

But now it's like you're turning it all back on them and the connection they already feel with you is vibrant and alive in ways they never dreamed of experiencing

He can't help it, he is returning every single gesture no matter what

Nadia

This is a little hard to pull off, at first, given how much of Nadia's love language shows up in the way she uses her vast resources to pamper you and make you feel special and important

Unlike her, you have about as much money as you need to live comfortably in the apartment above your shop. You don't have enough to commission seven gold owls in her honor

However, what's quickly obvious about her gifts isn't how much money she put into them, it's how closely she noticed your little wants and went out of her way to meet them

And now you can do the same

Keeping a small heating surface and teapot in her suite so you can have her favorite brew hot and fresh when she wakes up

Stitching a pouch of soothing, memory and focus boosting herbs onto a decorative scarf for her to use between meetings

Tending to Chandra for a little while every day so she doesn't have to worry about her familiar going neglected for very long

Introducing her to the glorious (though not very fashionable) concept of long underwear for the chillier Vesuvian months

You doing this without making her feel small is what she loves

Muriel

... help

This is so, so strange to him, he has no point of reference for this and therefore little to no means to control how he reacts

You noticed how he likes to take care of the charms around the hut and repaired one for him when it was starting to fall apart?

You spent hours sitting next to him quietly until he found the words for his troubles, and then listened to him??

You even learned how to embroider so you could start putting together a new tapestry of the life you're building with him???

What nearly breaks him is when you start to cook dinners for him when he already has a habit of cooking breakfast

Sure, having a life where food is consistent is something he doesn't take for granted, and he's held onto the value of it long enough to make sure anyone who stays a while gets something (eggs)

But now it's a whole new level of safety and care where he can trust that neither of you are going to bed on an empty stomach, and he doesn't even have to worry about there being enough

If you start carving little companions for the wooden animals he's made and set them up like they're snuggling he'll implode

Portia

Is she used to receiving affection? Yes. She's a fairly well-adjusted adult with unmatched people skills, her friend group and social network are vast and she rarely goes forgotten

Is she used to being somebody's first affection recipient? ... not so much, no. She's the person who gets called up after her important people have called up their most important people

So to be your most important person ... that's new

She's hearing something from you before you've told anyone else?

You're not deciding on whether to attend an event until you know if she's going? She's the person you look at when you find something beautiful or funny because you want to see her reaction first?

And let's not even get in to the ways you praise the efforts that usually go unnoticed or the work you've put into knowing her

Not only do you check in on how she's feeling, you don't even need her to tell you half the time. You can read it on her face

And you don't act like it's below you to support her when she's so used to supporting others. You even bring her lunch so she eats!

There's always plenty of affection when she's around, but to be noticed and known and important - that matters to her most

Lucio

Just. Be proud of him? (yes, he's grown enough to know that that's a big ask, depending on the situation -)

His instinctive way to show you how much he loves you is to make a big deal out of you and what you mean to him. Bragging about what a good person you are, what a happy life you have, etc

But if you do the same for him? After years of knowing (even though he wouldn't admit it) that he wasn't necessarily someone whose fondness people would be especially proud of?

Man, you make being a good person sound amazing

If you brag about his swordmanship and survival instincts to other journeymen in a tavern after a finished job, he'll stare at you with stars in his eyes. If you call him handsome, he'll melt

Don't even get started on the massive boost to his security if you show him off. You ask him to give you a flourish while he's trying on a new red cape and compliment it to the vendor?

He'll be thinking about it all day (he might walk into a tree)

He remembers being a source of social discomfort for his ex-wife (and worse, his mother's shame for raising him poorly) but the moment you loudly call him yours it gets just a little bit lighter

[theshipden]

How would the main 6 react to finding out Mc has ptsd?

Cracks knuckles oh baby as someone with C-PTSD this is my JAM

Julien;

He listens to your explanation, never breaking eye contact. He understands, he’s a doctor, he talks you through it

When you’re having an attack, he’s quick to ground you and help you seek a good therapist

Protective asf, he will not let you do anything alone since it makes you nervous.

Learns every one of your triggers so he can prevent them, whether that’s stopping himself from doing it or someone else

Holds you and cries about what you’ve been through, promises to never let it happen again

Portia;

Post-traumatic- down-syndrome? (Tiktok reference)

Nah but she isn’t certain what that is or what it means, but she DOES read about it and teaches herself what it all entails

Asks julien for further knowledge and how to help

Asks if you need space, to talk, advice, or just her company

In the middle of your attacks, she rubs you. Whether it’s your hand, your back, carding her fingers through your hair, she’s anchoring you back to the ground again

Asks what you need from her when you’re anxious

“Reassurance? Quality time? A listening ear—a shoulder? I have two of those!”

Muriel;

He understands you more then anyone. And funny enough, your anxiety seems to go hand in hand with his own

You’re damn right people are scary!! And loud noises are overwhelming!! And you’re angry and scared and just want to feel safe!! Him too!!

He isn’t the best at staying grounded, honestly he’s still learning healthy coping mechanisms

But when he sees you struggling, he finds himself in the clearest state of mind. He listens, he’s nurturing, and very intuitive.

Smiles so soft and so warm when you calm down from an episode, never pushes you to talk

Sometimes, you panic together about the same thing. Something about seeing someone you love feel the same way as you do….feels like home. You’re not dramatic, you’re more in control then you originally thought, and you’re cared for. Just as you care for him, he cares for you

Nadia;

She’s very good at rationalizing your racing thoughts, using logic to soothe your panic when it seems to be becoming too much

Uses her hands to massage the tension out of your muscles and help you process and work through the feelings you’re having

Aromatherapy, 100%

Reserved a spa day for you, just you and her, no one else. She knows the company of the servants would make you mask

Probably offers to buy you an exotic animal just so you have someone at your side if she’s away when you spiral

Lucio;

This man probably tells you to calm down, not realizing that’s making it worse.

Blubbers an apology immediately after, stuttering wildly as he waves his arms frantically

“No! Don’t cry—-! Hey, darling, it’s alright! What’s happened? My love, can you look at me? Show me those gorgeous eyes, there you go, wonderful. Now, what’s gotten you so upset?”

Thinks someone’s responsible, fully plans on lynching them as soon as he’s figured out the culprit

If your trigger is an inanimate object, he WILL destroy it. And yell at the servants not to trigger you

Drapes his cape over you so you feel sheltered and calm, so you can hide if you don’t want to be seen but don’t want to be alone

Definitely glares at anyone who attempts to call you emotional or puts you down for a natural reaction to trauma

Showers you in compliments, covers the mirrors in little affirmations with lipstick

Asra;

He knew. He’s always known. Even before you did.

He’s very patient, extremely passive and cautious

He educates others on your behalf so you’re never in an unwanted situation or triggered on accident

Reminds you to take medicine, eat, drink water, etc

Asks the arcana to guide you and offer you wisdom and clarity

Constantly ensures you’re never in a night terror/flashback

Can immediately tell when your anxiety spikes, doesn’t even ask before he brings you into the shop in a controlled and familiar environment and asks to talk

Admires you and your courage, he tells you everyday how strong you are and how proud of you he is

[leighsartworks216]

Death Bed

Julian Devorak x gn!Reader/Apprentice

I transcribed almost an entire chapter of Julain's route just for this 💀 I want the Apprentice to react more when they find out they died. Like, THEY DIED let them cry about it

Title from "death bed (ft. beabadoobee)" by Powfu

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, crying, mental breakdown, coming to terms with dying, death, spoilers for Julian's route

Word Count: 1,395

Masterlist

AO3

“So… um, so.” Julian shifts a book in line with the rest, fiddles with the fraying edge of the spine, and slides it back out to shift the order around some more. “Well, it worked. I met the Hanged Man, got the rest of my memories back, got my cure, and…” 

He scratches mindlessly at the pressed together pages, brow furrowing. It’s like he wants to look over, but knows doing so would make what he wants to say even harder.

“Listen, uh, just stay calm and listen to me, okay? I found out that… that…”

His mouth opens. Closes. Opens again, before he bites his lip.

You take in a quiet breath. “That you knew me… and I died?”

His head whips up in a flash. Wide eyes stare at you. “Wh… How did…? I was psyching myself up to tell you that and you already knew?”

You could almost laugh at his shock. At the look on his face.

But a waver at the back of your throat prevented anything as joyful as that from forming. You swallowed before saying, “I didn’t know. Not until today.”

He blinks cluelessly at you.

“I saw you, in the Hanged Man’s realm. I couldn’t call out to you, I couldn’t reach you, but… I heard everything.”

You can see the realization dawn on his face, in the way his eyes widen and soften with sympathy. “Are you… are you okay?”

Your mind spins.

Are you okay?

This morning, maybe you could say you were. Even as Julian was being carted away to be hanged, as his eyes gaze across the crowd and locked onto you. As his body fell out from under him. You could have bit your cheek, sucked it up for a moment more, clinging to the hope his plan would work.

You could watch him die, and still hold on just enough to reassure Portia that he would be okay.

But this?

Every time the thought reaches the forefront of your mind, your head spins. A headache presses at your temples, your stomach churns, your heart feels off-beat. How… How can you be okay?

You shake your head weakly, eyes falling from his face, vision unfocused as hot tears begin pooling too quickly to try stopping them. “No. I… no, I’m not.”

His words sound distant. All you’re aware of is his cool hand touching your shoulder, guiding you down to the ratty old cot taking up space in the small cell. The way his hands glide around you, pulling you into his chest.

And all at once, you finally break.

Harsh sobs shake you to your core as you hug him back. The fabric of his shirt becomes a prisoner in your tight grip, tugging desperately to pull him closer and closer.

His hand cups the back of your head, guiding your face to his neck. He whispers reassurances - mindless platitudes to try distracting your mind from the terrible truth to your missing memories. Kisses planted sweetly at your temple and hairline.

“Who-” You have to gasp for air. Your lungs burn with the next sob, especially as you try to stifle it down against his skin. “Who was I?”

He stiffens under you, and squeezes you tighter in his hold.

That person you used to be… You’d never know them. When at one time, all you knew was yourself, suddenly that rug has been ripped out from under you. Is who you are now- are you even you? Would your past self have become this? Were you them anymore? Did you share anything with them anymore?

And all those memories. All those days, all that time spent living just… gone. Did you used to think of your parents on holidays? Were you even close enough to them to think of them? Were they even alive? You know your shop belonged to your aunt, but you don’t even remember her anymore.

How many childhood memories bathed in golden nostalgia are lost now? How many friends did you used to have, now faded into obscurity?

God, friends. You tried so hard to be kind to all of the vendors at the market, but they all stared at you so warily. No matter what you tried, they were always on edge, always whispering behind your back. Even the baker had his moments of unease toward the beginning of your newest memories. Asra was the only friend you had. For so long. Who else had come before him?

And Julian! You’d known him! Worked as his apprentice! Were you friends then? Did you drink Salty Bitters at the Rowdy Raven together back then? Did you share secrets late in the night? Did you welcome him at work with a cup of coffee? Or did you drift through life back then, too? Keeping a practical distance between you both, staying professional, never anything deeper than that.

You press your face further into his shoulder. You can’t imagine it. You can’t imagine not being as close to Julian as you are now. All the adventures and laughter and love…

But you wish you could remember it. Just for a moment.

Julian brushes your hair back, humming a song out of tune by your ear. You wonder how long he’s been humming for, you didn’t even notice when it began. You focus on the melody, however butchered it may be from years of singing shanties with pirates. If you listen carefully, imagining what it should sound like, you think it may be a lullaby.

The more you listen, the more aware of your body you become. Your skin is warm where he rubs up and down your back. His other hand is gloveless, though you don’t know when he removed it. It tangles softly in your hair, scratching gently at your scalp, sending tingles that mix with your trembling body to form goosebumps along your arms.

His chest rumbles as he hums. You’re pressed close enough to feel it vibrate through you, too. When the song pauses and he inhales, you feel it, too. You can hear it by your ear, the sharp intake of breath.

You remember the sight of him dangling by the neck. You couldn’t tear your eyes away when they waited for him to die.

But he’s not dead now.

You bring a hand around to rest on his chest. He pauses briefly, head shifting as he tries to see what you’re doing, but he doesn’t completely stop. His skin isn’t cold as death, it’s just cool. Underneath, you can feel the powerful beating of his heart. Its steady rhythm is persistent.

Your tears slow, until the leftover drops stick to your eyelashes. Your body stops shaking with the force of your despair. His hand slows to a stop on your back, melody petering off to welcome the silence of the dungeon once more. He kisses your temple.

“Are you alright?” he whispers hesitantly.

Are you?

You take a deep breath. The lingering smell of coffee and the sea greets you.

You nod slightly. Your voice is crackly and raspy as you speak, fragile. “I think so.”

He lets you pull away when you’re ready. You can’t stand the thought of leaving too wide of a gap, though. So your hand remains on his chest, over his heart. There’s a kind understanding in his eye as he covers it with his own.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you back then,” he apologizes. “You needed me and I wasn’t there. I failed you.”

You shake your head, cutting him off. “You’re here for me now.” You muster up a weak smile. “That’s what matters.”

His shoulders sag a little with relief. He lets go of your hand to cup your cheek, wiping away the drying tears with his thumb, before drawing you forward and kissing your forehead once more. It’s easy to close your eyes and sink into the affection. Knowing how close you have both been to dying for good, it feels precious. It is precious.

But it’s all too soon when he pulls away, brows taught with seriousness. Too many questions are left unanswered. Too many things hinge on Lucio not coming back. For as much as you want nothing more than to linger in stolen moments forever, it will have to wait.

You won’t let this plague come back.

You can’t.

[gleefullypolin]

Stacy's Tipsy Musing's – Penelope Bridgerton Hot Takes - Part 1

Ok boys and girls, we need to have a little chat about Penelope Bridgerton.

Part 2 has been out now for a couple of days and there have been a lot of hot takes to come out of the season. A LOT of hot takes. I’m going to break this down into 4 parts like I did for Colin ((Part 1, 2, 3, 4, Bonus). 4 questions that I'm seeing really bad hot takes about Penelope.

Not surprising I see lots of hot takes about Pen, because either A) people cannot handle a woman complex emotions and facets, B) hate on a woman who does not fit societal norms and standards or C) are stans who refuse to see that all characters have imperfections which make them even more delicious to watch.

So let’s get to question number one:

Why didn’t Pen leave Colin after the entrapment comment or express more anger toward him, she seemed to give up?

Let’s start with where the idea of entrapment lives within Pen. In Season 1 she worked really hard to stop Marina and her mother’s plan to entrap Colin into marriage by deceiving him into compromising her so that he would marry her quickly while she was pregnant with another man’s child. She used Lady Whistledown to stop this from happening when Colin did not heed her warnings about Marina being in love with another man.

Move on to Season 3 and her mother finds out that she is now engaged to Colin and her very first thought is that Pen must have entrapped Colin herself to get him to marry her. Colin puts a stop to this notion with her mother of course, but the comment was there.

“And now you’ve been out at all hours of the night with no chaperone. And then you traipse in this morning with news of an engagement to the very same Bridgerton Boy! Using Lord knows what wiles to entrap him.” – Portia

Now when Colin finds out about Lady Whistledown, if you read my musing earlier, he reacted angrily and lashes out to hurt Pen with his own entrapment comment. And while it stings, I can tell you Pen does not react the way that so many fics that are being written today have her reacting.

“Perhaps that was another part of your planned entrapment.” - Colin

“I did not mean to entrap you, Colin. I love you.” - Penelope

So let’s discuss.

Pen did not tell Colin about LW herself (we will discuss this in part 2) so he found out on his own. At this point, he is still reconciling with her lie. And at this point it has been a lie. Up until the point she had simply been keeping this a secret, but when he asked her directly about the ink on her fingers when he gave her the engagement ring, she lied. She was writing letters. Again, this post isn’t going to go into that, tune in for part 2 for that piece. But anyway, he’s reeling from the lies he realizes she has now told. And Pen knows she hurt him.

Pen knows she has made mistakes. And at this point, she does not feel that she deserves Colin. She even says so when she speaks to Gen the night before her wedding. So we know that she knows what entrapment means. She knows what her mother accused her of, she knows what Marina did, but she KNOWS she did not entrap Colin.

If anyone entrapped anyone in marriage, Colin entrapped Pen. He ruined her engagement to a Lord in front of the Queen and the ton. He chased her carriage in front of others, he was alone with her, he was inappropriate with her in that carriage. He then proposed, he has taken her alone to their home, compromised her, and if he ended this engagement would ruin her, especially now knowing she was pregnant after their first time. So, let’s get that out of the way.

Pen knows she did not entrap Colin; however, she also does not feel deserving of him. She knows she lied to him. But all she knows she can do in this moment is to remind him that she loves him. That she did this to protect him, because she loves him. Pen does not fight him. She simply wants to know what he intends to do. She cannot bear his silence.

I honestly feel like at this point, it is more torture for her that he is NOT yelling at her, that he has not released his anger at her. I think she wants him to yell at her, she wants him to engage, she wants him to tell her that she is not worthy of him. Because then she would know the truth. It’s his holding to being a good man, to his honor, to marrying her because they were intimate that seems to rattle her more. Because that is NOT love. She wants more than anything for Colin to love her, she does NOT want him to be trapped by the fact he had sex with her.

And that is why she offers him the annulment even after EVERYTHING is said and done. Even after they are married, after he has told her he loves her still, after she has given up her identity, given reprieve from the Queen, laid herself bare to society, even after all of that, her biggest concern is to him. She still does not want him to feel trapped by her. She still offers him grace, and a way to release himself from her if he chooses. She is not angry; she smiles as she says it. Because she loves him.

At the bottom of everything, she wants to do better. She told her mother the same. Their family needed to do better. She would not allow her mother’s schemes; their past ways of entrapping men like they had tried with Marina. So, at the end of it, Pen did not give up when Colin spoke those words to her originally, she did not shrink back in anger or attack, instead she listened, she responded with regret, she reiterated her love and in the end she released him because she loved him. And she was rewarded with unconditional requited love in return.

Stick around for part 2....

Why didn’t Pen tell Colin about Lady Whistledown after X? (Their first time, during the engagement party, when he gave her the engagement ring, after El met with her and she decided to write the column to protect the Bridgerton’s)

[thekitchenywitch]

I'm still not caught up on if it's rude to send the same ask to multiple people so feel free to ignore this since I did send this to someone on the 23rd December.

But, how do you think the arcana M6 would react to an Mc that has a hars time feeling accomplished, and usually just doesn't feel it?

Like Mc could work on becoming better at something or work for hours on a project but will almost never feel accomplished for making something. Instead Mc would just see it as something they made or did. Like even defeating the devil didn't leave them feeling proud of themselves but more glad it's over. No sense of accomplishment just something they had to do and did and now it's over.

Hi! It is certainly not rude, please feel free to ask whatever you wish! Also sorry my HC grouping style is inconsistent I’m still figuring out what helps me write more for you all without getting too overwhelmed. Also apologies for the obvious favoritism 🫣

This are made as separate ships but partnered by shared reactions

Nadia and Asra actually get very concerned when they realize that you genuinely don’t think you done some worth celebrating. They won’t push you into act celebrating your accomplishments. They’d both sit with you and try to work through why you don’t feel accomplished though.

Muriel and Julian absolutely understand, they do the same thing but for different reasons. Muriel doesn’t feel super accomplished about it because when he does something he just…. Does it. I don’t think he thinks about it a ton, unless of course it’s something that involves using an ax or weapon, ie chopping wood or hunting. (honestly it’s unrelated but I don’t think he hunts unless necessary.) Julian doesn’t feel accomplished because he thinks that whatever good he does only helps to make up for the damage. Yes, he knows you love him, yes he knows you try so hard to get him to see that he’s worth celebrating but he…. Just doesn’t see it. He looks at himself and he’s just there, and he doesn’t think he should be. Not because he doesn’t want to be but this mans survivors guilt is through the goddamn roof.

Portia will celebrate with you either way. Because you know what? You don’t have to be proud of yourself for her to be proud of you. This woman loves you more than you could ever imagine, and I’m not just saying that. She loves you (X) miles, where X is the number of the stars in the universe. She’s so so happy she gets to be with you and even if you don’t see how absolutely amazing you are, she does.

[theintrovertbean]

I wanna see how Nadia realized she loves Mc. Like when she realizes just how much she loves and cares for Mc and I’m talking bout before they got together because the M6 describes Mc , Mc is strong, caring , smart, talented and I just wanna see when Nadia realizes she loves Mc. ( also wanna see how she reacts to Mc being the strong Magician people say they are)🙃

Oh boy, I made this so long. I think I got a little bit carried away, but that's okay because the more Nadia content the better.

Thank you for the request, Anon! It was a delight and I had the time of my life writing it.

How Nadia realized that she loves MC

Nadia loved MC long before she even realized it. For three months, she dreamt of them and she saw their face everywhere. She already loved the idea of MC and having them in her life, but since there isn't much logic in that, she pushed it away until it was no longer possible to ignore.

However, MC was not entirely the same person in reality, but the potential was always there.

Remember the part in Nadia's route when MC was in The Tower realm with Nadia, and they woke her up from her magic slumber? Yeah, that's the person Nadia was already in love with. That version of MC didn't exist yet, at least not at the beginning of the game. But when Nadia finally invited them to the palace, and as they spent more time together, MC eventually became that person.

MC was once a powerful magician, I guess even stronger than Asra. Because MC died and lost their memories, it's likely that a lot of those abilities were lost, but not entirely. Still, this doesn't mean that MC is not a powerful magician, they just need to find a way to tap into that power. MC literally goes from cutie patootie who can summon a ball of light to breaking the Devil's chains. If that's not powerful, then idk what is.

On the one hand, Nadia is glad that the people didn't lie about MC being powerful because she hates liars. On the other hand, she found MC's power quite attractive and relieving. It gives her some peace knowing that MC can take care of themselves.

Not only MC is powerful, but also smart. Nadia was surrounded by incompetent dumbasses (except for Portia), so she wasn't joking when she said that MC's presence was refreshing. Being around someone with common sense made her life a whole lot better.

As for caring, it was something Nadia had experienced before from her family, because, let's be honest, the Satrinavas never seemed as bad as Nadia portrayed them. Still, Nadia refused to accept their affection and care, which was something she didn't do with MC. It was unusual to her at first and a little scary as well, but being cared for by MC felt so good. It took some courage, yes, but she did enjoy having someone care for her the way she cared for them too.

Loving MC was the easiest thing in the world. Nadia felt it pretty soon after MC came to the palace. It was natural, and there was no need to put much thought into it. Because of that, Nadia needed a catalyst, something that would help her realize her own emotions.

The moment when Nadia truly realizes that she's in love with MC is when Lucio steals their body and she almost loses them. You know how it is. People don't always realize how much something/someone means to them until they lose them, and that's exactly what happened to Nadia.

Suddenly, MC wasn't there, and the world felt empty and dull without them in it. And it hurt. Gayness, did it hurt. If it wasn't for her incredible self-control and because she was more focused on bringing them back, I'm sure Nadia would have had an entire breakdown. Not the pretty princess tears from a Disney movie, but actually crying.

Her heart was aching so bad, and she was horrified of losing them. Was she losing her independence if she felt like she could no longer imagine her life without MC in it? No, she was simply in love, and it was the most heart-wrenching yet beautiful feeling she had ever known in her entire life.

This person, MC, uplifted her in such a short time. Her resentment towards her sisters is almost gone, her memories are coming back, she's a better ruler, and MC has helped her with pretty much everything. MC makes both Nadia and her life better. How could she not love them?

It also made Nadia realize that she had to tell MC about her feelings. To lose them without ever telling them how much she loves them would have been far too tragic. And Nadia didn't want to let go of MC.

[snobgoblin]

HOLA

can i know how the M6 would react to meeting Reise for the first time? (in your opinion ofc)

ohhhhhh my god good question..... I'm gonna take this ask into account with this

Asra- overall he's happy that Danny's happy. he's not quite sure how he feels about him being Lucio's son, too, though. but he doesnt let it show. after Julian (doctor who delivered him) and Lucio (his other father) Asra would be one of the first to see him. he's Danny's best friend! of course. he would show the baby little magic tricks and oh god no Asra you can't levitate the newborn

Nadia- she really isn't sure how to respond. the ask says she's the worst with children and I'm willing to bet that's because she'd do some shit like ask her servants to give a baby caviar or something 😭 she seems really out of touch sometimes /affectionate. ANYWAY she is handed the baby and formally welcomes him to Vesuvia, and the world for that matter. Nadia did you just give a tiny infant a diamond necklace

Julian- his first time meeting him would've been When He Was Born since he is Danny's doctor. he's the best with kids. he was happy to watch the baby while Danny recovered and Lucio soothed him. it's really a bittersweet experience with him... he's brought life into this world. but... people have also died in his care. during the plague... many children did. funny being a doctor, huh? it reminds him it isn't all bad. anyway this mother hen ass was telling him tall tales the whole night. who needs sleep when there's a baby to entertain

Muriel- absolutely uncomfortable. really really not sure how to respond. he's awkward enough with adults. what are you supposed to do around a tiny baby? it doesn't help that this is Lucio's baby. but he tries not to hold that against him. he would refuse to hold him because he isn't sure how and he's terrified he would drop him. he's also CONVINCED he would start crying the moment he did anyway (I think it would be a different story if it were say, his or Asra's baby. but this is someone he doesn't know all that well that had a baby with Lucio. it's awkward)

Portia- OHHHHHH she is so ready to make a new friend. HER FRIEND MADE A PERSON!!! THATS LIKE... A PRE MADE FRIEND. she's great with kids. the initial meeting is Exciting and maybe they have to tell her to calm down so she can hold him. but after that she'll often have him over and he'll take naps with Pepi in her pillow pile. OH on first meeting she's mad they didn't tell her ahead of time because she would have made him little baby clothes

Lucio- oh this man is PUMPED he MADE A PERSON WITH the person he loves more than anything are you kidding??? that's awesome. with a very heavy heart he takes off his arm's armor so he can hold him, that's definitely a hazard with all the sharp edges. anyway holding him was probably the first time he's ever shut the fuck up in his life, he was just speechless. he does want him to grow up faster though so they can get to the fun stuff that's definitely too rowdy for a baby but. in the moment, it's nice. Mercedes and Melchior are definitely very curious about him and at first he's like WHOA WHOA OKAY because they bite people but they do fine with Reise surprisingly

OH OH ALSO BONUS DANNY: it's really bittersweet for him because he knows Capra will never get to meet him. a lot of his family was lost to the plague and it's a shame he won't get to have that. but. for the moment he's really hopeful for the future. he loves nature and this is a part of that!! he wants to see where this goes. Also Good Lord He Is Glad It Is Out Of Him

[thefishermansharbor]

I have another idea (can be ignored if wanted) what if Mc talks really loud (almost shouting) with a relative. Like it's not an argument but just normal talking (I do this all the time). But once the relative is gone they slip into a more lower voice. How would Nadia, Portia and Lucio react? Blurb please.

Also I love your writing!✨️

The arcana’s reaction to their partner’s tone changing with different people!

The arcana x GN!Reader           TW: shouting. 

Nadia Satrinava:

Nadia wondered down the castle halls, looking for you. You’d told her earlier that you’d be talking to a relative that you’d invited. She thought you were finished by now however, and thought it would be nice to spend some time with you. 

Once she turned the corner, she could hear your voice coming from a small tea room. Nadia was surprised she could hear you from all the way down the hall, you must’ve been shouting. Her brow furrowed, suddenly realizing the connotation. She feared the worst, that you were arguing. 

She opened the door, scowling - ready to give whoever this was a loud and clear warning. She stopped, when she saw that you were.. Hugging? Yeah, just hugging. 

“ Darling, is everything alright? I heard shouting,” She says softly. 

You nod, smiling widely. “ oh no, me and my aunt here are just chatting. We can be quieter if it’s an issue,” 

“ Not at all. Please do continue,” She waves at your relative, who smiles back at her. She really just wanted some alone time with you, so she decided to make her way back down the hall. About an hour or so later, you came and found her.

“ Hello, Nadi.” You whisper, sitting down next to her. She looks up, and smiles. “ Hi, darling.” She noted the fact that your tone had gone back to normal, but didn’t question it. She thought all of your little quirks were endearing, and this was no different. 

Portia Devorak:

Portia was used to being loud. She was loud and proud about who she was, and there was no changing that. What she wasn’t used to - was you being loud. You said that it was only a good family member coming to hang out, but by your shouting tone she wasn’t so convinced. 

She was sat at the other side of the room, she had zoned out and stopped listening to your conversation completely. She thought that it probably about something stupid, but as the volume started to rise, she stood up. 

Portia rolled up her sleeves and stood in between you two and proudly shouted, “ what seems to be the issue here, HM?” There was just a hint of sarcasm in her voice, but other than she seemed serious on defending you. 

“ .. oh, Portia, love.” You say, giggling. You grab her arm, “ We’re not arguing, just catching up.” Portia goes red, “ wha– but you said–” 

“ I promise, hunny, we’re talking about my cousins.” Your uncle scratches the back of his neck, and laughs. “ yes.” 

Portia then tries to cover up her mistake by kissing you and sitting down next to you. She goes quiet, still embarrassed about what just happened. She shouldn’t have gotten that aggressive, but she can’t help but feel like she wants to protect you! Is that so bad? She wondered, staring at you. 

She then noticed how much more quietly you spoke when you talked to her. What’s up with that? She really, really, wanted to ask you. She opened her mouth to speak, but then stopped. On second thought, she’d already embarrassed herself once. What if she did it again? What if it was something you were sensitive about? She decided it would just be best to ask you later. 

Lucio Morgasson:

Lucio really didn’t care what you did, as long as it didn’t hurt him or someone else. You were given personal space, he really only wanted to be the one you love. It might be the first time he’s heard you raise your voice.

“ how’s your little reunion going, love?” He calls over. The shouting doesn’t scare him, he’s used to it. It’s expected to be loud and rowdy in his family, or at least loud and vicious. 

“ good!” you shout back, before going on talking to your cousins. He thought it was sweet that your family took the time to get together, you guys were just as loud as his family - but a hell of a lot sweeter. 

He was relaxing on the sofa, adjacent to the dining table you and your family were shouting back and forward at. Your entire family seemed to be shouting the entire time, and surprisingly - it didn’t bother him in the slightest.

Not even a little bit. In fact, he was listening to your conversations. He was a keen gossip follower when he wasn’t spreading it, and he couldn’t help but peek in on your conversations. Even if it was just a little bit. 

He smiled to himself, happy to relax while you did your thing. 

[stackofpossums]

How do you think the M6 would react to your familers falling in love after you two ( Mc + M6 ) did?

Asra: This is perfect. Oh my gosh, this is perfect. They're already planning Faust's and your familiars wedding. His life is perfect now. He's already sending the invitations to everyone he knows. They're freaking out over the color scheme, and where are the flowers they should have been here ten minutes ago, and honestly freaking out more over this then he was for his and your own wedding.

Julian: Now, admittedly, I have yet to read Julian's route, but from what I know from the other's, this man is not in tune with Malak at all. He's so confused as to why Malak is suddenly such a squaking mess. Does he look... nervous? Why is he always acting so nervous around MC's familiar? Their familiar isn't mean or scary. What's the deal with that bird?

Nadia: Isn't this just the sweetest thing. Once she walked in on the snuggling and pretended she needed to do something in the other room to give them privacy. But she does tell you what she saw later when Chandra is out hunting and she looks so happy her beloved Chandra not only found someone so special, but it was also her love's familiar!

Muriel: Anything ir anyone that is important to Inanna is of utmost importance to him. I'm imagining him helping Inanna pick fresh flowers and finy pretty stones to give to MC's familiar and weaving them matching flower crowns.

Portia: AWWWW! She loves to set up cute little "dates" for your familiars. Think adorable little animal tea parties in her garden. With a new outfit for each one. She also totally isn't spying on the familiars during their cute little garden tea party dates. She would never.

Lucio: Mercedes and Melchior will not stop fighting with each other to impress your familiar. Lucio will not have this. They should be fighting to impress him! Can you believe this MC?

I hope this was good for my first time writing actual headcanons :p

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hi, how's your day going? If you don't mind I'd like to make a little request for maybe full headcanons(? It's up to you really, short or full headcanons, I don't mind either. But I was thinking about a little scenario where the MC is telling the M6 how much they love and appreciate them, listing all the thing they love about them, how nice they are, how pretty their laugh is. And MC gets so happy about being with them that just, starts crying happy tears of appreciation? (It happens a lot with my partner and it made me wonder how the LI's would react, what they would do, etc) thank you in advance💚

The Arcana Mini-HCs: M6 when MC happy cries over their relationship

Julian: already a melting mess himself from all that positive attention, he's wrapping you up in a hug and planning a series of love letters

Asra: so flustered and happy they're close to crying themself. wipes your tears with his shawl and floods you with love through his bond

Nadia: caught off guard and completely vulnerable to your affection. uses your tears as an opening to heap you with all her praise in turn

Muriel: has been sitting wide-eyed, frozen, and reddening until you began crying. now he's wide-eyed, still red, and holding you close

Portia: already sobbing before you had the chance to cry because it's so validating to her. takes you home to get more handkerchiefs

Lucio: he's used to praise, but this is the first time someone's looked at him and been so genuinely happy to be with him. has no words

[rottentiger-art]

I'm really curious as to how Portia will react to the engagement, since unlike the book, Penelope was about to get a proposal from a real catch, Portia was already high on the power, money and opportunities it would bring her. Like yes, Colin is a Bridgerton, but he's also a third son, still a catch but to her eyes compared to Debling, I don't think she would be pleased. Not entirely at least. Plus, not only is she going to marry Debling's huge estate, her plan of having Pen to take care of her (cogh, lowkey slave, cough) is out the window as well.

However, this season Portia seems less harsh to Penelope, I definetly wouldnt say softer, but she seemed a bit closer. This might be due to them spending the off season alone since Phillipa and Prudence are married and away. There's a moment when she confronts her about what LW wrote about her and Colin, at the end of the scene when she sees Pen is actually hurt and she tries to awkwardly comfort her, and when her words don't work she almost reaches out to offer physical comfort but then turns around and leaves. And on ep 4 after Debling leaves, when Pen asks her "do I only matter to you if I have a lord's engagement ring on my finger?" it might be the first time one of her daughters stood up and told her how she makes her feel, because she was stunned into silence, while she does not follow after her but the realization is clear in her face.

So this makes me wonder if she'll take the news well, badly, or she will be visibly disappointed but offer not opposition.

Either way, I'm Colin will not let her continue to mistreat Pen any longer, whatever Portia has to say, I trust Colin will have an answer to it.

[capriddle]

Review of Bridgerton 3 part 2

Obviously contains spoilers for the entire 3rd season of Bridgerton and the books in the Bridgerton series

Let's start with what I didn't like, which, I'm sorry to admit, but is a consistent piece of the second part:

The revelation of Lady Whistledown= What can I say except that in my opinion they could hardly have written it in a worse way. First of all, no one other than Eloise and Colin seems really affected by the news, everyone assimilates the news and accepts it with such speed and ease that it leaves me stunned. Portia finds out and recovers immediately, Penelope's sisters think about butterflies, Cressida is not affected in the slightest. The queen does not show the slightest bit of happiness or anger, although she has been looking for Lady Whistledown for some time. Everyone present listens to Penelope and does not have the slightest reaction, be it joy, surprise or anger. Truly a disappointment compared to the theories or simply what happens in the book. And speaking of the book...

The role of Colin= Here we come to Colin. Well, if in the first part I adored him and in the book he made me angry but his internal struggle fascinated me, here it's a completely different story. First of all because he and Penelope have spoken very little to each other since Colin's discovery. I loved their discussions in the book, they were among my favorite parts precisely because of the fervor of the dialogues. Here we had something completely different. I had thought they would quickly get over his anger to make him different from the book, a supportive and protective husband. But no, they made it the weak version of the book, envious and angry but with little shown. If in the book Colin had the beautiful conversation with Penelope about her diaries, during which Penelope told how she started writing, here we have a Colin who does everything alone and almost from nothing. I definitely would have paid more attention to Colin the writer. Then we come to the declarations of love. In the books Colin makes, in my opinion, two wonderful statements and with all the sentences they took from the books neither of them were used. I also found it extremely unfortunate that Penelope was left alone to speak, I would have liked that once Queen Colin had left she would join her to declare herself in front of everyone, as she does in the book at Daphne and Simon's house. In short, I found Colin's role almost useless in this second part, simply because he interacts little with Penelope and I find that little of their interactions weak. A real waste.

The mirror scene = it may be exaggerated to dedicate a point to it but I was really disappointed. I was expecting a sex scene in front of the mirror and instead after the first time there was a miserable scene of a few seconds in which Penelope rides Colin. From the carriage scene, which had thrilled me enormously, I expected sparks, but instead there were little and nothing. All this waiting, these looks from the mirrors, the use in promotion, and in the end they wasted the opportunity. Total disappointment.

The Queen= From the first season the queen searches for Lady Whistledown, then finally hunts her down and how does she react? Practically in no way, she does not rejoice, she does not congratulate her for the cunning, she does not get angry, she does not punish her. I would have expected much more.

Things I didn't understand the usefulness of:

Benedict's plot= they show us Benedict in this threesome with Lady Tilley, they tell us that he no longer paints and that he is not interested in serious relationships. In my opinion, most of his scenes were useless and took away space from the real protagonists.

Mondrich Family= they show us this couple who unexpectedly changes social class. But in the end? Their plot goes nowhere.

Anthony and Kate= Just send them around the world! They are a nice couple, it's nice to see them even just present in the family, why continually send them away? Furthermore, I find it not very credible considering their role and the respective characters responsible for the characters.

Cressida= they give her a semi-tragic backstory, they try to explain to us how her being against other women was because of her mother's teachings, they then show us her father's severity, Eloise ends the friendship with her and we get to know her sad outlook. Then they make it end like in the book. What's the point of making us empathize with her? In the book she was cruel without a reason and she ended up the way she deserved, but here everything is bittersweet with this backstory. I really don't understand the reason for this change.

Francesca= At the end of the last episode we meet a certain Michela, it's a shame that in the book it's Michael Stirling. The problem? Nobody if in her book Francesca didn't have infertility problems. The plot will certainly be changed, but I wonder why give Francesca a queer story when there was already the important theme of infertility. They could include a queer story for another of her brothers, so they could have both a queer story and the infertility story. Furthermore, I didn't understand why it was Francesca who seemed struck by Michela when in the book it was he (now she) who fell in love at first sight. Who knows what they will get up to.

Penelope and writing= in the book Penelope starts writing a book after putting down her pen like Lady Whistledown, but here? Will you continue the news under another name? I honestly didn't understand.

Things I liked:

Eloise= If it was initially annoying me, going forward from episode 6 I started to appreciate Eloise again. Her crying at her wedding was very sweet and the final journey was interesting. She has grown a lot this season and I think she is preparing (in my opinion for the fifth season) to get married too.

Portia= A beautiful addition was that of the relationship between Penelope and Portia. The way she grows up, the way mother and daughter get to know each other and discover they are more similar than they thought. The moment when they shake hands before the reveal really struck me. A great change from the book.

Madame Delacroix= We didn't get Penelope and Lady Danbury (yet) but it was nice to see Penelope and Genevieve together. I hope to see them again soon.

To conclude, I finished the last episode with tears, but unfortunately, unlike what happened in the first part, they were not tears of joy but of disappointment. I think they could have done much more, both by modifying the book and rewriting the plot, but in my opinion they made a mess and I'm really sorry because I loved the first part and had sky-high expectations.

[angeledeggs]

How would Julian react to coming home to seeing his MC smoking weed. Would he join them after being confused? Also how would he and the M6 be like when stoned lol

Request filled! Once again, y'all, sorry for taking awhile! Life is busy and I'm doing my best :) <3

Julian🦠:

I mean, Julian probably wouldn't care.

I mean, he used to be a doctor, he knows that weed can have relaxing and calming affects.

He Probably gets a bit concerned if you end up paranoid, though, and will make you drink some water in an effort to help you.

Most likely won't ask for a hit, but might if he's stressed.

He's extremely bad at rolling his own blunts, they all end up falling apart.

If he gets high, though, he gets quiet and just stares at the ceiling cause he's day dreaming, like, *so* hard.

Asra💜:

He gets super giggley when he's high.

Like, you could crack the lamest joke, and They'll laugh for like five whole minutes about it.

When he's high he'll crave toaste so bad and while eating a whole load of bread cause he just eats toast after toast.

Will play some Arabic music quietly and just vibe out, but also gets sleepy so hell probably just lay on the floor like half awake while he listens to it.

Will hold Faust and start to cry cause they're getting sentimental.

Probably hates the smell of weed and will burn like, a million incense sticks, which just makes it worse in the end.

Muriel💙:

He can't handle weed, like, at all.

It gets him feeling sick and dizzy and last time he tried weed he almost vomited.

So...

Yeah, he doesn't do weed.

But he doesn't really care if anyone else does it because the smell dosent bother him.

He's surprisingly good at rolling blunts, though.

Nadia💎:

Doesn't really react to the weed.

She dosent quite care for it, either, so she doesn't really smoke it often.

She will sometimes though, since she finds that it helps reduce her headaches.

But like Asra, she also hates the smell of weed.

She'll literally open every window in the house and use like a hundred dehumidifies in an attempt to get rid of the smell.

If it has any affect on her which it usually doesn't, she'll probably just get a bit sleepy.

Portia🧡:

Weed makes her super hyper so she usually smokes it when she's tired or wants to do some chores without getting exhausted.

She sleeps like, ten hours once she's finally done though, doesn't matter whether or not it's night or day.

She's horrible at rolling blunts so she bought this blunt roller thing she uses to roll them.

Only smokes it every once in awhile, but will literally make "kosher blunts" jokes each time she does.

Dosent really care about the smell but gets annoyed if it lingers in her bed or blankets.

Lucio👑:

He literally can't even smoke a full blunt.

He'll take ONE hit and he'll already be super dizzy and high already.

He tries to act like he can take it, but he can barely smoke weed at all.

He's a sore loser though and super petty, so sometimes he'll just light a blunt and wave it around his room so that the room will smell like weed.

Cause of his luck, though, the smell never lingers.

❀

[sxftkxssxs]

How do you think the main 6 would react if MC was related to one of the courtiers (sibling or child of) and they still had a relatively good relationship with them, like hanging out over tea or freindly bickering ect. Bonus if its valdemar cause they're probably the scariest out of all of them xx

//I love your HCs BTW xx

I just went ahead and used Vlademar! If you do want versions with the others then I'll gladly do that! I'm glad you like my writing <3

M6 with a Mc who’s a sibling of one of the courtiers

Asra

...You're actually related???

Wonderful, amazing, love of his life, related to Vlademar??

He's filled with a mix of disgust, surprise, and confusion.

Why that one? Out of all of them he despises Vlademar the most.

He does try to not fight or be salty towards him at least, which is only slightly successful.

If Asra runs in on you two catching up over tea he'll be absolutely flabbergasted. Vlademar?? Crazy experiment doctor chatting over tea?

He'll always come with you when you go to see your sibling, and in doing that he learns a lot about the both of you and your relationship.

Julian

downright terrified 

you’re?? The sibling of Vlademar?? 

he’s spiraling, and there’s a 80% chance he will faint 

he’s always been intimidated by Vlademar even before he met you, and now it’s even worse

Julian will be sweating buckets around them. No questions asked.

It’s very weird seeing you banter with them, though. He never thought he’d see the Vlademar so relaxed and having a good relationship with someone.

Vlademar has threatened Julian more than once just for existing around you, and then tries to act like he was joking when you come around.

Nadia

You have to be kidding.

You're related to the craziest of the courtiers? Why couldn't it have been Vulta!?

She's stressing, growing metaphorical (and possibly literal) gray hairs.

As long as you both won't be a thorn in her side, (and you don't turn up in a ditch somewhere), she doesn't mind you two having time together in the palace.

She finds it incredibly awkward when she runs in on you two having some friendly bickering. This is still the same Vlademar right? You didn't replace him with someone on the streets of Vesuvia?

Nadia will try to spend some time with the both of you together, but she usually sits out on your little get togethers.

Muriel

He's not very pleased with this information

Vlademar was literally a follower of the devil??? And now you're fighting them over if a pastry tastes good??

Muriel would definitely hold some resentment. If you really do want them to get along he'll try his best.

Inanna in turn, also despises Vlademar. She'll never stay in a room alone with them.

He doesn't really like spending time with your sibling, they unnerve him.

Inanna will accompany you if she has to, especially if it'll ease Muriel's worry.

Portia

She's shocked

Portia is more easily introduced to them as your sibling, but she definitely holds a grudge against how her brother was treated during the plague and how cruel Vlademar can be

She doesn’t often hang out with the two of you together, but if you ask her to she will!

She learned how to fake pleasantries from working at the palace, and she puts them to use here

Pepi sits in your lap, making you look like an evil villain.

Lucio

again, why that one?

He never really liked Vlademar (or any of the courtiers)

You just had to be related to one of his past (Demonic?) "friends" didn't you?

He doesn't like being near Vlademar at all. Lucio will completely leave you two to be by yourselves.

Melchior likes to stay with you though, and will definitely growl if you two start bickering too harshly

Mercedes is with Lucio, screw hanging out with Vlademar!

[swallowedbyfandom]

He wakes up a hollow shell. He cannot feel his Pen anymore. Her presence had been growing fainter for years since he first mentioned to her, that her emotions were a distraction to him while he was off at school. He remembers a sharp wash of dejected hurt followed by a more subtle wash of resignation. In the years that followed Pen had become so closed off that he really only felt her when he reached out deliberately. Looking back even then she was muted and faint. He really only felt her strongly when she was caught off guard or she reached out first.

Even muted as she usually was he always felt their bond. A warm glow humming in this soul. Even while in Greece he could reach out and feel traces of her grief and rage. She was likely not as guarded in her mourning as she was normally. He panics he cannot help it, he tries to reach out but there is nothing to reach for. There is no warmth, no tether, no echoes, he is devastatingly alone.

His screams alert Anthony and the Doctor that he is awake then they are pinning him to the bed. He vaguely hears Anthony over his keening cries for Penelope. Where is she? Surely she lives?

"Take a breath brother. You must calm down or the Doctor will have to sedate you to keep you from falling into severance shock."

Colin understands the words but not the context. How can he calm down if he does not feel Penelope? How will he keep track of her safety? What severance? Did his Pen die? He will not survive it. He will not live in a world that Penelope Featherington does not exist in. There is no Colin without Pen.

He pleads with his big brother, "Ant, please was there an accident? Where is my Pen? I cannot feel her brother. I cannot reach for her? Help me, help me."

He hears the Doctor call for sedation and fights harder he must find Pen.

It is Ben who stops his panicked struggles by telling him to look down at his mark. He wishes he did not listen to Benedict, their once perfect mark is completely blackened and he has three red vivid betrayal marks across his ribs. It is grotesque. A nightmare made flesh. It cannot be real. He would never betray his soul bond.

He renews his struggles against the hands holding him down, he needs to get to Pen. This is all a horrible mistake, he will apologize and hold her in his arms until the bond renews. She will fix this, she always makes him feel better. He needs to feel her soul or he is sure he shall lose is sanity. His brother's do not understand they have always been alone. He needs his Pen. He fights his way out of the room and down to the foyer before they manage to sedate him. He catches the horrified faces of the servants and his siblings before he fades out.

She watches him drift in and out of consciousness burning with fever for three days. She mourns Colin already. Her other children do not understand that the Colin they once knew is gone, burnt to ash in a fire of his own making. She has always known Colin and Penelope were a match. How could she not? They have always been drawn to each other like magnets. However she did not know they were partially bonded.

God, what was he thinking? How many times had she spoken of wanting to remove Penelope from Portia and Archibald? Had he just told them they were bonded they could have had Penelope living with them legally. She would have had the status and protection of their family. Yes, as adults they would have had to marry but bonded soulmates are never platonic. Once they accepted the bond it was always going to be marriage, or severance. There really was never any other outcome.

She does not know how she will react when he wakes a part of her is so disappointed in him, a darker part is resentful. There is nothing short of her children's lives she would not sacrifice to have her soul bond with Edmund restored. To think Colin had that bond and degraded it, until it broke. He rejected his mate whose only crime is being plump and undervalued by society. God the whispers that have circulated around the Ton since Penelope fled to privately recover are harsh. Portia in particular has created a ruckus about Colin.

She had wept for hours after she read Penelope's letter. Her poor soul daughter had suffered for eight years. Suffered enough to pray to become unmarked. She cannot fathom it. Penelope has always held soul bonds sacred. How much had Colin done for her to wish to forego their bond? While she grieves Penelope and the future grandchildren she will never know, she is happy that Penelope still has a chance. That Colin didn't ruin both their futures is a minor comfort that he destroyed his own future callously, less so.

He wakes up again his soul cold and so alone. He remembers the entire night in horrifying clarity now. The high from his thrilling victory, the glee of fitting in amongst his peers, the agonizing fall from grace. The last thing his Pen felt before her soul was torn out of him was pained relief. What did it say about him as a soulmate that she was relieved to be torn apart from him? She wasn't surprised to hear him decry her, she was hurt and angry but not surprised. Pen had simply braced herself and felt almost expectant. Anthony and Eloise are arguing not so silently on the other side of his room. He listen listlessly hoping to gather information on Penelope's whereabouts.

"You should be packing we are leaving as soon as your brother wakes up for good."

Eloise scoffed, "Does it really matter? Society has never viewed Penelope favorably. Who really cares if Colin broke their bond? Penelope is not even in Mayfair anymore. Why are we fleeing like criminals."

Tersely Anthony answered, "I have always wondered what god I offended to be responsible for so many selfish, oblivious siblings. We are the villains or we are the negligent morons in this case. Which do you think is worse? Your brother brought Miss Featherington into our family eight years ago and opted not to tell anyone. I am the head of our family and I allowed a partially bonded soulmate to escape my notice. Miss Featherington has endured harsh living conditions and financial difficulties that I was legally responsible to rectify. A duty I neglected. A failure the whole of society now knows about. What father will entrust their daughters into our family now? Col bears three betrayal marks what does that say about the way the children of our house are being raised? "

"Miss Featherington is blameless in this situation. She could not bring herself into our family. She had not a single betrayal mark. She suffered no ill effects from the bond breaking which means she remained faithful and loyal to their bond. She never in eight years betrayed our disgusting brother no matter the disrespect he paid her. Your anger with her does not change the facts. We failed Miss Featherington and now fate has gifted her a new mate. "

"We have fallen out of favor with the Queen who believes soul bonds are sacred. She finds the lack or regard Colin displayed toward his soul bond abhor and a clear reflection on our entire family. Did you think of your sisters for a moment? Who will marry ladies from a family the Queen speaks against?"

"Perhaps this would not have been so bad had it just been one betrayal, but three of them is not a mistake, it is a damn habit. I almost married my soulmates sister the only thing that saved us was neither of us knew. It paints a terrible picture about what Bridgerton's are as mates does it not."

Eloise stays silent for the longest time before softly asking,"How do we fix it, then?"

He hears Anthony's tired response. "We do not. Penelope Featherington asked that the Bridgerton family as a whole leave her alone. She wants no part of us, we have to respect that."

He wonders how his siblings think he will allow them to move him. No, he must stay here and wait for Pen. She must know he will be here waiting for her to come home. He will make amends and she will allow him into her life again and then fate will see how silly it is to take her from him.

She can have a husband and children if she wants he would never interfere in her happiness. He will make an excellent uncle for her children he promises, she just has to keep him too.

It is what he was going to do with Marina. He would have married her and been able to keep Penelope close as her family. He would not have left Pen behind, he would have had a lavish home built for her on their property. She would have her own servants, a library, and all the pretty dresses she wanted. He would have taken her away from the cruelty of the Ton. She would not have had to marry for status or safety. She would never have to tolerate some man's lust or risk herself in childbirth. They were one soul, any children he and Marina produced would have belonged to Pen also. He would have kept her safe and happy. It would have been perfect.